i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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