i need an iv and a liver transplant
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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