So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Randomize
