absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
