i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
