First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
