I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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