her vagine was all disorganized.
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
