...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize