its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
