isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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