That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
do herpes really smell.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
