i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
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