marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
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