i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Randomize