sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Randomize
