I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
