I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
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