Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
