Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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