You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
