After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
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at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
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There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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