i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Randomize
