it's too hot outside to masturbate.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
