he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
