we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
the night ended with taco bell and tears
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
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