I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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