she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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