3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Randomize
