yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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