Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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