by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
