Can i not drive my cunt home
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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