So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Randomize
