I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
