honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Randomize
