Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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