Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Randomize
