i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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