Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
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in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
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I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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