what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
