something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
