I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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