i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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