I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
