I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
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You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
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Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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