i barfeds in our rink
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
