called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
