I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
