Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
