I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Randomize
