hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Randomize
