Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
