i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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