help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
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