Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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