I will die if light touches me.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Randomize
