so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize