Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
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